What does it mean to ‘tend’ a fire?

First, let’s look at the definition of “tending”.

“Tend”: – verb

1. to look after

2. to accompany as an assistant or protector; to care for the wants of; to watch; to guard

3. to wait upon, to serve

Tending a fire is so much more than simply adding wood or watching the fire burn.

Tending a fire begins long before the initial spark ignites the pyre and an actual flame is lit, and long after the last ember loses its glow. 

In regards to tending a fire for a firewalk, tending

begins without even thinking about the wood. The fire tender will first inspect the ground and the surrounding areas to ensure it is a safe space. 

Tenders carefully assess the clearance of the area that nothing aside from the wood that you are burning will be burned, along with hand-

plucking rocks and other debris from the burn site. A fire tender will prepare the pyre by first inspecting the wood, ensuring proper seasoning (a process of naturally drying the freshly cut

wood, likely by sun exposure for a year or more prior to burning) and assessing each individual

piece for any harmful metal / foreign objects that should not belong in a coal bed. 

Next, a tender will spend careful time building the wood stack in such a way that enough, but not too much air will feed the fire successfully and the stack will not prematurely topple once the burn has begun. Once the fire is lit, the fire tender is vigilant, observant, confident, reverent and overall responsible for the success of the burn and the safety of any witnesses, participants, structures or wild flora / fauna nearby. 

Finally, when the fire has slowed down and the coals are no longer sparkling and giving off heat, the fire tender knows that all things must end and

carefully extinguishes a fire, cleaning up any remaining coals and putting away any tools or

supplies that were used in the process.

To tend a fire is to be patient. Fire tending is not a job for the modern hustler. Patience

is a crucial trait from the first steps of building the pyre, igniting the fire and allowing it to burn

down before giving more fuel to it, and even exercising patience when extinguishing the flames.

If one is in too much of a hurry to add more wood to the fire, the fire is then at risk of smothering, and not enough air will sustain the burn. Opposingly, if a tender cannot simply step back and trust the process of the burn, jabbing and turning the fire repeatedly with tools, too much air will be given and the end of the burn is imminent. 

Both of these examples are what you could call ‘over-tending’. A fire tender must wait for the proper timing to add more resources or offer a breath, paying close attention to the texture, sounds and motions of the burning logs before offering more fuel or turning any logs. If a fire tender rushes through the process of building the pyre, the tender could then be faced with the challenge of rearranging the now-burning logs which may result in having to restart the fire all together. If a fire tender

is eager to water down the coals at the end of the burn, clouds of sooty dust could quickly engulf the burn site and agitate the respiratory systems of anyone standing by. Patience and gentle care are absolutely necessary if one wishes to tend successfully from start to finish.

To tend a fire is to be vigilant, observant and confident in taking action. Through careful observation, a tender begins to know when it is time to feed, breathe and rest. A properly tended fire should have little to no plumes of smoke emitting from the burn because the tender is constantly monitoring the burn evolution. Tending a fire is a delicate balancing dance of adding resources and stepping back, offering fuel vs offering a breath. 

This is the practice of vigilance. As we saw in the definition of the word “tending”, you are now in service to the fire, not simply a watcher. Observation is important and goes hand in hand with confident action. 

If you are waiting a table in a restaurant, you would probably notice that your customers glass is

empty and you would likely respond to this observation by refilling the glass. You will notice the action that needs to be taken and follow through with the appropriate response. A fire tender remains vigilant and observant by paying close attention to the cues of the burning fire.

A dark spot in the coals is asking for a breath. A shifting log indicates the transition from wood to coal. 

A fire that is low in flame is asking to be fed with more wood, or turned to allow the

larger pieces of wood beneath to come to the surface to finish burning. In practicing vigilant observation and taking appropriate action, we then begin to create a relationship to the fire.

To tend a fire is to build a relationship with the all-consuming, transformative force.

When we approach fire tending as a relationship rather than just a job or duty, a whole new

world unfolds. But how do you build a relationship to… a fire? We create a relationship to fire

the same way one builds any relationship. A new mother pays acute attention to their

newborn baby, learning their wordless signals of when they are hungry, soiled or sleepy. A pair

of new lovers look beyond words into subtle energetic cues of how their moods change, what

their desires and disdains may be, and responding appropriately so the union will thrive. Like

mothering a child or courting a prospective mate, we build relationships to fire by showing up

over and over again, each time with more learned experience and a desire to move forward and

evolve, and most importantly to serve. We do not build interpersonal relationships by

approaching with a cocky, “know-it-all” attitude, and this applies to the relationship with the

fire as well. The fire is the teacher and every burn is different. In any relationship there is an

exchange, a sacred reciprocation. You are serving the fire by giving it fuel, breath and purpose.

The fire is serving you by the warmth and wisdom accrued by tending its needs. Again, referring

to the basic definition of “tending”, you are an assistant and guardian to this force of nature.

You are not its boss or commander. You and the fire are sharing an experience. To be a tender

is to BE tender… a gentle companion in service for the highest good.